Many people make decisions based on what they’re trying to avoid — conflict, guilt, disappointment, or uncertainty — rather than what they truly want to move toward. In this Notes from the Couch episode, Jen introduces the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) concept of “toward” and “away” moves, and explains how values help shift decision-making from avoidance to intentional living.

Rather than treating values as abstract words, this conversation reframes them as guiding beliefs and principles that act as guardrails when life feels complicated and unclear. When values are defined, choices become less about “What should I do?” and more about “Who do I want to be in this moment?” and “What matters most to me in this season of life?”

Drawing on ideas from the essay that inspired this series, Jen also explores how growth isn’t about reaching a destination, but about facing a direction — practicing becoming the person you want to be through small, repeated, values-aligned choices over time.

This episode is an invitation to reflect on whether your current patterns are moving you toward the life you want, or simply helping you avoid discomfort in the short term — and how therapy can support you in choosing with more clarity and intention.